I promise, officer. I really don't beat my children.

Poor Georgia. Within the space of two days, she fell off a neighbor's trampoline and got wedged in the ladder. Bruises on her back and her white little butt.

Then the next day, she hit her head on a speaker in the theater. Major black eye. It really puts a damper on her princess beautification. She told me she wanted to put some purple eyeshadow on the other "eye brow skin" so it would match.